Mike: my dog is an iRish setter
Me: ok
Mike: I just wanted to say iRish
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Mike: I am that which is omnipresent. I am everywhere, but nowhere, for I do not physically exist. Noone can control me, because I am nowhere and everywhere. I know all, but know nothing. I see all, but see nothing. I speak all, but speak nothing. I fly through the air, but I, too, crawl through the ground. I am at your fingertips, but am miles away. I am the internet. Beware!
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Ethan: "If Mary Kate went to puke, Ashley would be behind her holding her hair back. If Nikki Hilton went to puke, Paris would be fucking her boyfriend."
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Ethan: "You're not a big shot, you're not even a medium shot, your an asshole!"

"I beat him within an inch of his life, but I did it with love."

"What is it the Degeneratron? What a crunk a shit!"

"Oh, look jumpin stumpin Jethro's usin all three of his brain cells to talk."

"Don't be afraid, we've all got one, that means I'm happy."

"Fran from Little Havana gave a donation of ten dollars. I think she could have done better than that." "Mean bitch, I hope she dies an agonizing death."
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Shanna: "boys are like a box of chocolates....you never know which ones have nuts."
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10 Commandments of a Teenager-
1) thou shall not sneak out when parents
are sleeping.
(why wait?)
2)thou shall not do drugz
(alcohol last longer)
3)thou shall not steel from k-mart.
(Wal*Mart has a bigger selection)
4)thou shall not get arrested for
vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect)
5)thou shall not steel from thy parents.
(every-1 knows grandma has more money)
6)thou shall not get in fights.
(just start them)
7)thou shall not skip class.(just take the whole day off)
8)thou shall not strip in class.
(hooters pays more)
9)thou shall not think about having sex.
(as nike sayz just do it)
10)thou shall not help old ladies cross the street.
(just leave them in the middle)
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"Some States are trying to abolish the death penalty, my states putting in an express lane" - Ron White

"The first time I got a DWI, it turned out to be a false acusation, They were pulling over everyone driving on the perticualar sidewalk, thats some profiling right there and profiling is wrong" - Ron White

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"you ballless wonder" - haha good shit ethan
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that redifines scared the shit out of you - haha funny ass shit andrew
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peter, you think first with your equipment and then with your stomach - haha

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